But on the night of his death, she and a friend of my mother sat in the kitchen chatting animatedly over a glass of wine while Mum and I, in a state of shock and grief, sat in stunned silence because Dad had just died.
As well as bereavement (when you almost certainly experience painful flashbacks to your father's last days), you have all the stress of a demanding job plus this awful sense of being hurt and disappointed by your friend.
Bel Mooney replies: I am so very sorry to read of the recent death of your beloved father and to imagine how terrible his last months must have been for you and your mother, taking care of him at home.
It's very hurtful indeed that she seems to have turned away from you, but I suggest that if you keep your head down and do the work and try to prepare your bravest face to meet her and your colleagues ... this awful period in your life will slowly pass.
So during all those months you were working to establish yourself in the role, supporting your mother, in anguish over your father's deterioration, mourning his death and then having to sort out his financial affairs and organise his funeral.
