'I feel so stupid – I never suspected my husband was having an affair'
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Dear Coleen. I’m a woman in my 30s, married with one child. I know you get a lot of letters about affairs and I’ve always thought I’d never be in that situation myself. Well, I was wrong. My husband has admitted he’s been seeing someone else for several months. I didn’t suspect a thing and feel so stupid and humiliated. He works a lot so I guess it was easy for him to use work as an excuse when he was meeting her.
He’s ended the affair but told me this woman wanted him to leave me and she’s angry. He said the whole thing made him realise it’s me he wants to be with and he feels so much guilt over ruining things for our family. He cried when he told me, which I’ve never see him do before.
I asked him to leave while I decide what to do. Despite what he’s done, I love him, so this is confusing. I know all my friends and family will advise me to leave him, which is why I haven’t told them yet. He couldn’t explain why he had the affair other than he “felt flattered” and “one thing led to another”. He admits he’s been stupid and wishes he could turn back the clock.
Coleen says. OK, we know what he wants but what do you want? It might take time to work that out, so it’s good he’s moved out and you have some space to think. Don’t make any knee-jerk decisions while you’re feeling hurt and angry. Take your time – you don’t need to decide anything right now.
