'Only just married and I found my husband looking for another woman on a dating site'
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Dear Coleen. I’ve been with my partner 12 years and we have two children aged five and eight. We finally decided to tie the knot at the end of last summer, but after five months of marriage, it’s all over and I’ve thrown him out. I found out he’d joined a dating site, obviously with the intention of either having an affair, sleeping around or finding someone new.
When I confronted him, he was so defensive and started calling me all kinds of horrible names. I couldn’t believe how angry he was, like it was somehow my fault. It was a very odd reaction. So, the marriage is over and I have to pick up the pieces. I feel so humiliated and embarrassed about all of this. We had a big wedding in Ibiza with our kids and loads of family and friends, and now I feel like a fraud.
Everyone bought us gifts and spent money on flights and hotels. The whole thing is mortifying. If I could pay them all back, I would. He wants us to go to counselling, but why should I? I feel like I don’t even know him. Before this happened I would have sworn he’d never do something like this. For me, it’s over.
Coleen says. I’m not sure if it’s any kind of comfort, but I think what’s happened to you is a lot more common than you’d think. I know two couples in my own life who were together for a long time before finally getting married and then split up fairly soon after the wedding.
Maybe some couples feel the pressure to get married because it’s what’s “expected” or they do it for their kids or perhaps it’s a way of trying to repair or lock down a relationship that has problems. It’s worth thinking about why you decided to tie the knot.
