I interviewed 11 incels – this is what I learned
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‘I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t think at least half the group was crazy,’ Harta* tells me from his home in America. I can’t see him – like other men in my study into the world of incels, he’s elected to leave his webcam off. Still, while he’s audibly nervous, Harta also sounds glad to have someone listening. ‘The first post I saw said “if my sister truly cared about my issues, she’d allow me to have sex with her…”‘.
![[Anxious people discussing their feelings and struggles during a group therapy session]](https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/GettyImages-1492995673.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=509)
‘So I was turned off by that,’ he quickly adds. Harta is a former incel who began frequenting their forums in his early twenties. Short for involuntary celibates, incels are men who believe a combination of their bad genes and modern feminism have left them romantically/sexually destitute. In short, they consider themselves scientifically unloveable.
![[Andrew Tate walks while waiting for a hearing inside the Court of Appeals building in Bucharest, Romania, Wednesday, Sept. 4, 2024. (AP Photo/Vadim Ghirda)]](https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/SEI_220021742-eae9.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=646)
As a psychologist and a lecturer at Robert Gordon University in Aberdeen, I find inceldom equally fascinating and scary. It’s one of few subcultures built entirely around inferiority. Many men go years at a time without having sex, though few make it a core part of their identity. Yet I can almost understand why some do. As a teenager, I worried everybody was having sex except me and catastrophised being alone for the rest of my life. Influencers and dating apps likely amplify these concerns, leaving people a swipe away from rejection.
![[Rear view of man wearing hooded shirt against cloudy sky,Maryland,United States,USA]](https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/GettyImages-1289446329.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=508)
It’s what made me want to interview former members to find out why they joined inceldom in the first place – and how we can help others leave. To start the process I placed ads on dedicated ex-incel groups to see who would be willing to speak – 11 signed up. At first, I was worried about speaking to other men, no less strangers, about something as personal as their sex lives: would they open up?.
![[A man, completely obscured in shadow looks away]](https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/GettyImages-1470234174.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=509)
