The six questions every midlife couple MUST ask themselves this year if they want to stay married: On national 'divorce day', read this advice by top therapist Natasha Silverman
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Welcome to the first Monday of January, AKA 'Divorce Day', when law firms see a spike in enquiries from fed-up folks driven to the brink by festive disharmony. And, according to ONS figures, 41 per cent of couples divorce before their 25th wedding anniversary. If you're keen to 'futureproof' your relationship, these are the six questions couples therapist Natasha Silverman says you must discuss with your partner.
Are we happy with our sex life? Work stress, family strife, hormonal changes and boredom can create a chasm between the sex you dream of and the sex you're having – or not having. Experts say that's OK if you're both on the same page, but warn that the 'desire discrepancy' (where one of you wants more or different sex) can rip a relationship apart if it isn't addressed.
Silverman is a relationship counsellor and psychosexual therapist with a background in law, so she is uniquely qualified to manage the issues that lead to divorce. Sex is a common topic with her clients. 'Men say their wives have zero sex drive, while women tell me the pressure to meet their partners' sexual needs – the strops, the badgering – chips away at sexual desire.
'The problem is too many men assume women are capable of spontaneous desire. For most men arousal is like a light switch, easily flicked on. But women need a trigger or sexual cue. Men need to figure out how to activate this.'. Men say their wives have zero sex drive, while women tell me the pressure to meet their partners' sexual needs, writes Louise Atkinson.
