The women who will ONLY date men who've had therapy: Forget a six-pack or a six-figure salary, these women say they're fed up of dealing with overgrown man-babies who can't handle their own emotions
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On a first date, 27-year-old Ellie Hecht has a list of key questions to help her assess a potential partner. The most important among these is not how many siblings he has, his favourite film, or even whether he wants children. No, her opening gambit is: 'Are you open to therapy?' It's a question that would likely shock the best of us, and you'd forgive many 20-something men for scoffing.
![[Star Freudenberg, 32, decided eight years ago that she would only date men who were open to therapy but soon found that not everyone subscribed to her philosophy]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/12/19/21/93322857-14210811-Star_Freudenberg_32_decided_eight_years_ago_that_she_would_only_-a-3_1734644795826.jpg)
Yet that's a red flag for Ellie. For while previous generations of women hunted for men with a GSOH (good sense of humour), a good job and their own car, for Gen Z women desirable dating qualities include being in possession of a 'self-care tool box'.
![[27-year-old Ellie Hecht started therapy aged 20 when her first relationship broke down after three years of dating and says it taught her about self-awareness and emotional responsibility]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/12/19/21/93322863-14210811-27_year_old_Ellie_Hecht_started_therapy_aged_20_when_her_first_r-a-2_1734644795825.jpg)
Indeed many, like Ellie, wouldn't even consider dating a man who wouldn't consider therapy. 'That's at the top of my list,' she says. 'Also on my list are 'vulnerability' and 'strong communication skills'. Everyone wants a partner who is kind and emotionally aware, and therapy helps foster these traits.
![[Benedicta Owusu, 21, first dated a man who had been in therapy when she was in her late teens and says it 'was a revelation to discover they respected and listened to my feelings']](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/12/19/21/93322867-14210811-Benedicta_Owusu_21_first_dated_a_man_who_had_been_in_therapy_whe-a-1_1734644795824.jpg)
'On first dates I bring therapy up with guys straight away. While most respond positively, it helps weed out those who aren't serious. If someone isn't open to it, then we're probably not aligned in how we approach emotional wellbeing. Being open to it shows you're ready to grow and better yourself.'.
![[Lydia Newberry, 22, has been in therapy since she was a teenager and believes it has been pivotal in identifying her negative behaviour in relationships]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2024/12/19/21/93322869-14210811-Lydia_Newberry_22_has_been_in_therapy_since_she_was_a_teenager_a-a-5_1734644795827.jpg)
One in three 18- to 24-year-olds now report symptoms of common mental health problems, such as depression or anxiety disorder – up from one in four in 2000 – with more than half a million being prescribed antidepressants in 2021-22. Many members of Gen Z now document their mental health journeys on social media, with one US study finding that one in five of them – and millennials – are in therapy, with 55 per cent having already experienced it.
