I turned my back on 'normal' relationships and now I'm happier than ever in a 'polycule' with six sexy friends. This is my guide to non-monogamy... and why it's nothing like you imagine
I turned my back on 'normal' relationships and now I'm happier than ever in a 'polycule' with six sexy friends. This is my guide to non-monogamy... and why it's nothing like you imagine
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Sitting on the bus, I open up the group chat I have with my two best friends from school. We’ve known each other for 27 years and these women are more sisters than friends. Soraya is pregnant and has just entered her second trimester. She’s sending pictures of her newly popped-out belly.
![[As a girl, from an early age I learnt a key role in my life was to be a girlfriend, then a wife, then a mother, Ruby says]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2025/01/30/11/94677117-14341939-image-a-14_1738237346791.jpg)
And Adrita just got engaged in New York, surrounded by adoring family. As I send back congratulatory messages, I am genuinely celebrating my friends’ choices and big life moments. But I also feel a disconnect. Because the underlying thing that is presumed within these moments – marriage, children - is monogamy. And that’s not part of my life any more.
![[When I started exploring non-monogamous relationships, says Ruby, I had no idea just how much time I’d be spending on emotional admin!]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2025/01/30/11/94677511-14341939-image-a-16_1738237422563.jpg)
I’m 31, and ten years ago I decided to start treading the path of non-monogamy. Currently, I’m in a ‘polycule’ - a group of people connected through polyamory - of around six people, made up of longer-term loving relationships and what I call ‘sexy friends’, where the basis of our relationship is friendship but sometimes more.
![[The first official foursome I had was with some friends - which proved to be a learning experience, Ruby writes (picture posed by models)]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2025/01/30/11/94677513-14341939-image-a-15_1738237394193.jpg)
I’m 31, and ten years ago I decided to start treading the path of non-monogamy, writes Ruby Rare. Yes, living like this takes work and yes, I’ve made mistakes. It’s taken a decade of trial and error, but I couldn’t be happier. Yet growing up, I didn’t realise that it was possible to live this way.
