At 53, I'd been celibate for a decade and thought I'd never have sex again. Then a friend let me in on a secret all the posh mums are talking about...
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Being a single woman at the age of 53 was never something I'd planned. For 20 years I had only slept with one man, but our long-term relationship ended when I was 43. We had become friends instead of lovers and our lives were heading in different directions, so parted ways.
![[While out with friends, one of them suggested booking an escort. At first, I laughed off the idea but my curiosity got the better of me (stock image posed by models)]](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2025/01/12/23/93946625-14268697-While_out_with_friends_one_of_them_suggested_booking_an_escort_A-a-2_1736726373558.jpg)
We had never married nor had children; I wasn't interested in either and instead chose to put my career in marketing first. When we broke up, I didn't jump back into the dating scene like my ex-partner did. In fact, I avoided it altogether. The thought of starting from scratch terrified me and I'd heard horror stories of online dating.
What began as a desire to stay single eventually became 10 years of celibacy. I didn't know it at the time, but I was part of the 'voluntary celibacy' movement. It's different from the involuntary celibates - men who crave sex but can't get it, so resort to spewing hatred. Instead, it refers to women who choose to abstain from sex in order to heal trauma, reduce stress, and escape the toxicity of modern dating.
I was a happy 'volcel' (again, it wasn't a term I was familiar with until recently) until about two months ago when a good friend made a suggest that changed my mind. 'Why don't you hire a male escort?'. Being a single woman at the age of 53 was never something I'd planned. But a bold suggestion from a friend changed everything... (stock image posed by a model).
Before getting into that conversation, let me paint a picture of my sex life at 53. When I became single in my forties, there was no fire within me. Sex was the last thing on my mind with perimenopause around the corner. My libido diminished so rapidly I felt I could easily go the rest of my life never having sex with a man again.
