‘Why are my biceps so small?’ The boys and young men turning to steroids
Share:
A generation of young people are being raised on a vision of masculinity that glorifies muscular bodies. Performance and image enhancing drugs offer a quick – but potentially risky – way to achieve their goal. One month ago, Nick*, an 18-year-old university student living in the United States, got some devastating news: his little brother has cancer. It’s one of the worst times of Nick’s life, he says, but he’s “still positive”.
![[Dumbbells on rack]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/d44076092aab22d384bc33981dbf565719d570c4/0_0_5123_3415/master/5123.jpg?width=445&dpr=1&s=none&crop=none)
“I wake up with a smile on my face,” he says. Not because of family support or a miracle cure, but because he has a potent combination of chemicals coursing through his veins: steroids. At the same time that his brother was diagnosed, Nick started taking testosterone and metandienone (dbol). He began using the drugs to change himself, physically. “I hate the idea of being average,” Nick says.
![[A boy looks at a smartphone screen]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/8d2be41b70afa9bc21ba9367a5c23b56944cabf4/280_468_4220_2532/master/4220.jpg?width=445&dpr=1&s=none&crop=none)
The physical side effects arrived quickly. Days after his first injection, his benching weight, already about 147kg, increased by nearly 7kg. Within weeks, his voice deepened and hair started growing faster. But the mental side effects were even more dramatic.
![[Clear vials and syringe]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/37ad1c6913d2923832fa061818795c43ac64418a/0_282_5669_3401/master/5669.jpg?width=445&dpr=1&s=none&crop=none)
“You just feel like a soldier when you’re on it,” Nick says. “If it was the old me without running testosterone and stuff, I would be beat up over it [my brother’s cancer], but on testosterone and dbol, I feel great. Every day I’m stronger than I was yesterday.”.
Sign up for a weekly email featuring our best reads. However, Nick also experiences out-of-control emotions, snapping at his girlfriend and yelling at other drivers on the road. Fed up with these outbursts, Nick’s girlfriend broke up with him – although she was not aware that steroids might have been driving this behaviour. Even still, Nick has no plans to stop.
