I went on my first wellness retreat, and it wasn’t what I expected at all

Meeting royal ancestors, braving the Irish Sea and being blown away by the effects of breathwork – all in a weekend’s work for Harry Bullmore. I’ve never been on a wellness retreat before. As a fitness writer, I love movement in general, but tend to err towards physical pursuits – you’re more likely to catch me in the gym than a Yin yoga class. My editor, on the other hand, is a veteran of the wellness scene; someone who knows her ashwagandha from her ashtanga. So when the opportunity to go on a “wellness weekend” cropped up in my inbox, she suggested I take it.

But where was this getaway, promising to show me the birthplace of Pilates, contrast therapy, breathwork and a guided walking meditation?. My mind flicked to India, or somewhere in the Mediterranean that might offer brief relief from another chilly English winter. But I was way off the mark: I was jetting off to the Isle of Man. From March, you can fly from my home city of Bristol to the Isle of Man for as little as £24. But I was travelling in January, so instead headed to Gatwick for the 80-minute flight.

Hospitable to the hilt, he immediately launched into a verbal tour of Manx customs and followed this with an actual tour when we arrived at the house. This included a labyrinthine series of staircases and interconnecting rooms that would leave David Bowie scratching his head, followed by a postcard-ready riverside glen in the garden. When the First World War broke out, German-born Joseph Pilates was travelling with a circus in the UK. Under the Aliens Restrictions Act of 1914, he was arrested and eventually shipped off to Knockaloe internment camp on the Isle Of Man – a tricky spot to escape from.

As fellow prisoners’ moods and mental health deteriorated around him, Pilates noticed the stray cats on camp remained full of vigour. At least, that’s the tale he told Sports Illustrated in 1962. “He saw [the cats], when they had nothing else to do, stretching their legs out, stretching, stretching, keeping their muscles limber, alive,” the interview reads. “He began working out an orderly series of exercises to stretch the human muscles.” Thus, Pilates was born.

Read more: Six reformer Pilates exercises to do with just a resistance band. I had experimented with meditation before. Like many others, this involved downloading the Headspace app, sitting in my bedroom after a manic work day and hitting play. My ever-active mind promptly began planning dinners for the next few days, as an American voice in the background told me to focus on my breath. Taking place in a forest near South Barrule, the session with Mike was more fruitful. The eldest son of a Buddhist meditation master, he sought the secret to happiness after struggling with mental health in his teens. Happiness, he concluded, is the absence of negative thought and emotion, rather than “an external accident”. Meditation, or “paying attention on purpose”, is a way to access this.

A walking meditation can best be described as walking incredibly slowly, focusing intensely on the feedback from your various senses. At the sound of a gong, I was to freeze for a few seconds, then carry on. In truth, I felt a tad silly at first, ambling around a forest in silence like a zombie. But I later found myself zoning out and not remembering the process of travelling from tree to tree. As the physical act of walking distracted me, my mind quietened down a bit, providing a welcome alternative to my usual world of Slack messages, WhatsApp groups and deadlines.

Read more: Why you don’t need to walk 10,000 steps a day for most health benefits. The next morning, a minibus whizzed me into Peel: a picturesque town on the island’s west coast. Having lived in Cornwall for a few years, the place felt somewhat familiar with its colourful beachfront cottages, alongside lush surrounding hills and a harbour wall sprouting from a ruined Viking castle. On the way there the minibus driver informed me that, when we crossed “Fairy Bridge”, I was to greet the fairies in the Manx language – moghrey mie (morr-a-my), meaning good morning.

“What would happen if I didn’t?” I asked, intrigued. The fairies would curse us, the van would probably crash and there was a chance everyone on board would die, was the answer. I dutifully bid the fairies good day as we drove over the diminutive bridge. It starts with three challenges sent via WhatsApp – for example, craft Spongebob Squarepants out of whatever you have to hand. Once there is photographic evidence these challenges have been completed, you receive a riddle for the first checkpoint. Teams must take a selfie at each checkpoint to prove they’ve been there, then scan a QR code to unlock another riddle. There’s also a no running rule, so cardio bunnies can’t romp home in a matter of minutes.