Sitting in the pub with a wine in my hand, I glare at the person sitting across from me. My friend, Patrick*, has a sheepish look on his face, because he’s just received a well-deserved telling off. We’ve known each other for years and usually get on well. But last week, he made the mistake of hooking me up with a friend of his, Levi*. Patrick described this man as ‘right up my street’ and sure enough, physically, he was definitely my type.

With his broad shoulders, strong arms and mysterious eyes, Levi was undeniably hot – but that’s where his charm ended. We had sex a couple of times, and it was bloody good but afterwards, he turned cold and treated me as if I’d been some prize he’d won but was no longer interested in. His demanour changed, he went cold, and on one occasion he turned his back and immediately went to sleep. Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom?.

Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us!. It was offensive and rude. I wasn’t exactly looking to marry this man but I expected some form of standard courtesy given we’d just had sex for two hours. When I confronted Patrick, who had vouched for Levi, I was shocked at how blasé he was about the whole thing.

He admitted to having known that his mate is a bit of a player but didn’t think I’d be bothered by it because I ‘like to have sex’. I was stunned. While I have shagged my fair share of womanisers over the years, I don’t enjoy being misled. A friend who knowingly sets you up with someone who will not treat you with respect is no friend at all. Patrick and I didn’t see much of each other after this, our friendship soured over the coming months as I took a step away.

Hooking a mate up on a blind date or for a casual shag is almost always a risky endeavour for many reasons. I’ve had positive experiences too, of course. Many years ago, I was visiting my friend Georgie* at her flat when her new housemate walked through the door. He joined us for a few drinks and I struggled to keep up the conversation because I was too distracted by his gorgeous face. Later, while out with Georgie, I politely asked if she would mind setting me up with him. She agreed, but warned me he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship.

She was right, but I didn’t mind. He and I hooked up once or twice, but neither of us made any indication for wanting anything beyond being f**kbuddies. I’d gone into this situation knowing that this was a casual fling so I didn’t expect romance. But, in my humble opinion, setting a mate up with someone – especially if it’s just for sex – is often a lose-lose situation. If it goes badly, your friend might blame you, and even if it goes well, things could sour between them, and then you have to choose sides.

This all being said, many of us will meet our future lovers or long-term partners through friends, it’s just a natural part of human connection. Personally, I try to avoid doing so. I wouldn’t mind doing it if a friend asked me; as an example, I set a male mate of mine up with a mutual acquaintance just last year. But if you do set your mates up, there is one condition that must be met: always be honest.

That was the key difference between my two experiences. Neither friend was responsible for my actions. But Patrick withheld important details that I deserved to be aware of, whereas Georgie told me the whole truth and allowed me to make an informed decision. If you’re going to be someone’s wingwoman or wingman, be aware that’s a job that comes with responsibility. The man I set up with my friend was someone I dated myself 10 years ago but I told everyone involved about this and no one minded!.

Sex and dating is messy enough as it is so if you’re ever on the fence on whether to hook two people up, there’s an easy solution. Have a party with several people and invite both. Don’t make a fuss about introducing them to each other. Let fate do its thing and if it happens, it happens. Or – to avoid any worries altogether – just buy your friend a really great sex toy. It might not be as good as the real thing, but in my experience, vibrators rarely ruin friendships….

*Names have been changed. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. Share your views in the comments below. Arrow MORE: Natalie Cassidy’s exit marks the end of an EastEnders era – and it’s left me devastated. Arrow MORE: I’m a ‘bearded woman’ who likes cat roleplay — here’s a week in my sex life. Arrow MORE: I wrote to the man who saved me – he replied with a joke.