Power play & selfishness – relationships may fail due to ‘birth order’ so should you date an oldest or youngest sibling?
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HAVING a successful relationship that stands the test of time can be challenging - but could you and your partner’s birth order play a part?. Many people claim that whether they are the oldest sibling or the middle child, it has affected their personality.
![[Young couple on a date at a restaurant.]](https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/NINTCHDBPICT000964424841.jpg?strip=all&w=960)
So it follows that some people believe this could spill over into dating life too. Some psychologists insist that couples may be more or less suited to one another depending on the order in which they were both. Expert Kevin Leman wrote a book on how he believes birth order can influence a relationship, called The New Birth Order Book: Why You are the Way You are.
![[Young couple sharing a heart-shaped balloon.]](https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/NINTCHDBPICT000964424719.jpg?strip=all&w=960)
In it he references a study from the Journal of Marriage and Family that looked at the relationship quality of 236 couples and their birth orders. Using this book and a number of other studies, we’ve compiled a guide to who you should really be dating based on your own siblings.
![[A young woman feeds her date pasta at an Italian restaurant.]](https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/NINTCHDBPICT000964425114.jpg?strip=all&w=960)
Of course, each relationship is different and it's important to note there may be some exceptions to the rules... If you are a firstborn child, you stand the best chance if you are paired with a lastborn. This is according to a study conducted on 3,000 families by Walter Toman, a professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Erlangen-Nuremberg in Germany.
![[A young woman whispers in a young man's ear at a bar.]](https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/NINTCHDBPICT000964425101.jpg?strip=all&w=960)
Kevin’s book claimed this is down to an “opposites attract” relationship. While the eldest born person likes to take the leads, the youngest born person keeps the relationship light-hearted and easy going. Apparently this works best if you are a firstborn female and lastborn male.
