This is how we do it: ‘I struggle to fully enjoy sex because I’m so conscious of what I look like’
Share:
Alexandra and Jake contend with insecurities, but are slowly discovering sexual intimacy. How do you do it? Share the story of your sex life, anonymously. When we’re doing missionary it’s a lot easier, but if I’m on top I feel as if there’s nowhere to hide.
As a teenager I felt like the girl that boys weren’t attracted to. I didn’t kiss anyone until I was 19 and in my first relationship. That had quite an effect on me and I still find it difficult to feel sexy and attractive. Jake and I met at university; we’d known each other for about a year before we started dating. We spent a lot of time messaging before we got together – often deep conversations about our insecurities, so that got us off on an equal, open footing.
We’ve been together for three months now, and Jake has made me realise how much it improves my sexual confidence when someone makes me feel appreciated outside the bedroom. I have never been a particularly body-confident person. I hate my boobs – I just don’t like their shape, and never have. Jake is very caring, kind and compliments me a lot, but I sometimes still struggle to enjoy sex the way that I want to because I’m always thinking about what I look like. When we’re doing missionary it’s a lot easier, but if I’m on top I feel as if there’s nowhere to hide.
When we first started having sex it took about five times for me to feel comfortable enough in myself to take my shirt off. I still wear a shirt sometimes. But there have been a few times recently where we have got really into it and I’ve felt secure enough to know that Jake will find me super attractive even when I’m completely naked.
