'My January divorce was crippling - but one thing will surprise everyone'
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After the festive party invitations become a distant memory, and fireworks stop lighting up the sky, January is a time for fresh starts and new beginnings for many of us. But while diet overhauls and gym commitments may dominate, the first working Monday in January has become known as “Divorce Day” in legal circles – though the issue spans far beyond that one day.
The latest statistics may show the divorce rate in England and Wales in 2022 was the lowest it’s been in 50 years, but January remains the trickiest month for struggling couples. Law firms report that divorce enquiries spike by a massive 25-50% in the first month of the year. Meanwhile, Ammanda Major, head of clinical practice at relationship counselling organisation Relate, tells New there’s always an increase in the number of couples seeking help at the start of January.
Among the people who have experienced heartbreak in the new year is Karen Tomasi, whose 24-year relationship came to an end in 2008. “I didn’t know what to do with myself,” recalls Karen, now 57. “It was really awful and probably the worst thing I’ve been through in my life. They say divorce is the second most traumatic life event – the first being the death of someone you love – and it’s so true. It was a dark time and I went through a very deep depression, because my marriage and kids were everything to me. I always put them above everything, so my world just crashed down.”.
Having met her husband when she was 17 years old, the end of Karen’s relationship came as a huge shock to her and their two children, aged 10 and 20 at the time. Karen, who now works as a holistic break-up and divorce coach, says the festive period was a “catalyst” for the ending of her marriage. “There was a lot of friction, and we had this unresolved conflict,” she recalls.
